Possibly the greatest challenge any parent will face. Making it through the years of adolescence relatively unscathed. It's a tough time for both parent and child which needs a combined effort from both sides to tackle the problems that arise.
Adolescence is a time of neurological and hormonal changes within a child. Their bodies transform and they find it very hard to express their feelings and fears about it.
They have very little control over the transformation that is taking place and they don't know where to turn. Many children feel bewildered and somewhat embarrassed about puberty. This naturally leads to a desire for independence and a lack of willingness to discuss the issues with parents or friends.
Confusion and silence are probably the most common emotions before they finally seek the answers to what exactly is happening.
Parents need to be aware of the situation and show understanding. All too often however, they will say nothing and leave it up to the school or somebody else to address. Many schools do a good job of this, but in isolation, without parental support, the issues still remain buried.
A parent can do things that a school simply cannot do. Children look to their parents for guidance. They need to be able to speak with their parents about difficult times and about embarrassing things. Speaking with your child about puberty in a natural and confident way will do a lot for their sense of self and your relationship.
Parents must, at this delicate time, ensure their child is getting sufficient sleep, which is crucial at this stage of their development. A healthy diet should also be encouraged.
Parents must be aware that their child will indulge in risky behaviour. This is all part of growing up and must be appreciated by parents. At this time, it is more than likely a child will commit a petty crime such as shop lifting or trying to dodge a train fare. If and when apprehended, parents must show understanding and sympathy - certainly in the first instance - and gently reinforce what their child already knows; that stealing is wrong.
This sort of behaviour is to be expected. It is a child's way of "pushing the envelope"; seeing what they can get away with in the "adult" world.
Children at this time of their life are struggling to form their identity. Lessons learnt at this time will hold them in good stead for the rest of their lives.
It is at this time that role models play an important role. A role model will invariably possess the qualities the child would like to have. Obviously sportsmen, human rights activists, classical musicians and people of solid achievement are to be encouraged; while vacuous, "Hollywood" style celebrities should be constructively frowned upon!
If parents were to be given one item of advice on how to deal with these challenging times, it would be to treat consistently their child with love and respect, allowing them freedom to mature into responsible, successful adults.
